I still haven’t been able to start Stage 2.
I’m moving soon, and while I don’t have that many tasks to do myself, I keep getting interrupted. I had to go to the registry office to prepare some documents for the move. I thought I was perfectly prepared, with some help from an AI, but the clerk—who looked disheveled and hollow-eyed—just started circling things all over my documents. They mumbled something about needing to print ‘such-and-such document’ from a computer in the back, and “you have to press this button around here,” and so on…
My brain just checked out. I sat down at the computer they pointed to, but I couldn’t even find the website to print the required form. As I was staring blankly at the monitor, wondering what site I was supposed to use, an elderly couple behind me started arguing about whether they’d brought their official seal or not. To my right, someone else was losing their patience, complaining that the homepage wouldn’t even load.
Suddenly, the lyrics of an children’s song popped into my head: “In my dream last night, I had wings and flew up, up, higher than the clouds…” which made me think for the first time, “Wow, that dream sounds deeply problematic.” I was just spacing out, staring at the monitor with my hand on the mouse, when thankfully another employee stepped in and helped me somehow get the paperwork sorted out. It was truly a mystical experience, witnessing the exact point where the pre-modern and modern worlds collide, and something like a Lagrange point between consciousness and the unconscious.
I found a solo dev community by chance and made my first post, hoping to talk about our challenges and offer mutual support. It was completely different from what I expected. How should I put it? It felt like a “crab bucket,” a place very close to the world as seen from an Adlerian perspective. I was surprised at how many people there seem to think of solo development as an identity, something special, or even a privilege.
It seems like the kind of work you couldn’t possibly endure unless you accepted it as your destiny. I’ve always thought that working in such isolation, with almost no feedback or reward—and furthermore, being in a position where you have to choose this path and the fact that you genuinely enjoy it—is something close to a curse.